Swimmertainment

Okay friends, here we are again for another swimmertainment! Today I would like to focus on the good old, "Please, I beg of you, do not do that again."

So y'all remember the guy in the rainbow striped speedo? He is the one who would swim a length of the pool, hop out and either do jumping jacks, sit ups, push ups or all three. Well it is bad enough for a young (about 19), very thin guy to do this. It is a whole other story when a guy who is about 10 - 15 years older, about 150 pounds overweight, and very hairy does this. Thankfully he was not wearing a speedo! However it is rather awkward sharing a lane with said guy as he is climbing and pulling his way out of the pool as you are finishing a lap and his shorts are starting to droop and all you see is a hairy butt crack. "Please, I beg of you, stop doing that!" Please leave the pool for swimming and take the jumping jacks, sit ups, and push ups somewhere else!

Going back to yesterday's blog on what not to wear, I would like to talk about the other end of the spectrum. I have seen a lot (both in number and the physical amount) of butt cracks because bathing suites are too small. Please wear something that fits. While on this subject of what not to wear, if you are a guy and you have any extra weight (more specifically 100 pounds or more) please do not wear a speedo. I do not say this to be mean, I simply say this to say that it is not a good look and it is kinda awkward for everyone else. Ladies, your turn. Bikinis are great if you are in shape and sitting by the pool or on the beach. Please do not try to swim laps in a bikini. It is not a functional or practical bathing suite to swim laps in. Although it is HIGHLY entertaining to watch you attempt said task. So if you wear a bikini to swim laps, please know that I will have atleast a grin on my face as I watch you!

On another day in the pool, I finish up with my laps, grab my towel and head back to the locker room. The locker room is a fairly open space with lockers in the main part with bathroom stalls, shower stalls, and changing rooms off of the open space. When I walk into the locker room after swimming said laps and notice this gal changing into her bathing suite right next to the locker that I was using. A smidge awkward already but okay. Well as I get closer, I advert my eyes and quickly grab my bag so I can take it to a changing room when the lady jumps and yells "Excuse me! Why are you standing so close to me and why are you looking at me? Can't you tell that I am trying to change in privacy?!" I almost couldn't tell if she was being serious. I kind of wanted to laugh at the absurdity of this. I didn't know what to do so I just turned around and walked away. This is when I say "Please, I beg of you, stop doing that!" If you not want people to see you change, please use one of the changing rooms, otherwise please do not yell at people. It was highly entertaining to say the least.

I have one more story, as of right now, to share with you, but it is something crazy/ridiculous that I did while swimming. So I will save it for later. Hope y'all enjoyed today's ridiculousness!

All in.

Swimmertainment!

It's finally here, friends. Swimmertainment! As many of you know I like to swim laps at the local Rec Center. I started swimming laps at the of March and usually swim like five day a week. There is always something funny or weird happening when you are at the pool to swim. My friend, Natalee, and I worked together at Mark 2 and we both have worked with folks with disabilities in and out of Mark 2. With that being said, we have a saying (and not a bad one) that we have a high tolerance for awkward. So in the midst of something kind of awkward, we can stay calm and with a straight face. Well this has helped me while swimming. There have been several awkward moments at the gym that I have encountered then often texted Kory and Sara afterwards to share my awkward moments and they have shared in the laughter. So I'm bringing Swimmertainment to y'all so y'all can join in on the fun. Today I have a few stories to share:

So in order to get to the pool you have to walk through the locker room. I often go midday because it's the least crowded. However no matter what time I go, I somehow always go right before or right after the Senior Swim Class has been in the pool. I don't know what it is, but it always seems like every lady over the age of 60 has no issues when it comes to her body and believe that everyone should be okay with their nakedness. Multiple times I've walked into the locker room and have seen a lot of naked women; one lady in particular on multiple occasions. She looks like Betty White. One day in particular, I walk in to the locker room and Betty White is wearing a shirt, socks, and shoes but no underwear or pants and she's leaning forward to dry her hair in the hand dryer by the sink. Really Betty White's look-a-like? Sigh.

A few days later I was swimming laps and I look to the next lane over and it looks like the guy in the lane next is wearing socks. And I was very baffled by this. I tried to get a closer look to prove myself wrong. I thought maybe he's wearing some kind of swim shoe or something. As I was finishing a lap, I noticed he was getting out of the pool. And sure enough, he takes his socks off and rings them out one at a time then he walks back to the locker room barefoot. What? Seriously?

For my final story today, I have to tell you about rainbow speedo guy. This guy looks about 20ish and he gets in the pool wearing a rainbow colored banana hammock. I wish that were the awkward part, but lets be honest, lots of guys wear speedos and most of them shouldn't. I continue to swim, no big deal. Well then I realize that this guy didn't think that swimming was a good enough work out. So he would swim one length of the pool then get out and do jumping jacks, sit ups, push ups, or all three. Then he would get back in, swim another length and do the same thing. Nobody should do these activities in a speedo. Ever. Just sayin'. Really rainbow speedo man?

I hope y'all enjoyed these stories. More to come. On a different not, both my brothers, Mike and Kory, are about 6'1"ish (that's my guess on their heights, I could be very wrong. I'm short, everyone is tall to me) and they both weigh in the 150s. I hate them both and their skinny-ness. So my next goal is to weigh less then both my brothers. Sigh.

All in.