Weekly Weigh-In

This week was hard. Avoiding Thanksgiving food was really hard and getting the physical activity while out of town (where it was freezing) and when my plans repeatedly fell through was even harder. It was a hard week and having a good attitude was hard too. I'm glad this week is over. I did really well  staying "in the box" and not eating all the delicious food, but I did it! And that is a huge win. And I still lost weight. I'm tired so I'll update more later - especially swimmertainment! But for now here's my picture for this week (with the magic button in my pants)!

11.27.12 Day 67, Lost:2 Total:27, Weight: 163

All in.

Weigh-In Tuesday and Instant Button

So I have been avoiding buying new pants because I know that I have a ways to go and I don't want to keep buying new pants. A family friend of ours, Janet, had these Instant Buttons that she dropped off at my house.

All that you have to do is add them to your pants - no tools needed. It definitely helps! It has made a huge difference. I just put off buying new pants a little longer. Thanks Janet.

The button closest to the hole is the original button and the other is 

clearly the new button. The pants now fit comfortably - not too tight 

or too lose! Awesome!

So I'm sure y'all aren't reading this blog for the Instant Button. This week was a good week on the scale! So here's the picture!

11.20.12 Day 61

Lost:3 Total:25

Weight: 165

Down 25 lbs on this program, 30 lbs overall. I am 1/3 of the way there! 30 lbs down, 60 more to go. That seems like a long way away. Sigh. It is still good.

All in.

Real And Hard, Good And Sweet

Today was kinda hard. I have kinda neglected to remind myself that clothes aren't going to fit properly while I'm still in this process. The other day when I went to try on new bathing suits, I picked up a couple of sizes to try on. The first one was the size smaller than the my original size and the other was two sizes smaller. The first suit was a smidge big and  the second suit was a smidge small, but not bad. I went with the second suit because I knew that I was still losing and the other suit was already a little big. Well today when I put it on at the gym, I kinda forgot that it was smaller than my last suit for some reason. I knew it was, but for some reason it was hard. I didn't like how I felt, I was uncomfortable and self-conscious. I think it's because I was feeling real good in the "big clothes". It's hard to know that I'm working so hard, but I've got so much more to go. I just wish it was as easy to lose as it is gain. This process would be a lot easier physically and emotionally. Also, as I was walking out of the locker room today, I passed the weight room just as all the high school guys were arriving after school and this one kid says to his friend "I weigh 147. Why is it so hard to gain weight? I want get to 150 like now." Seriously kid?!?! I'll give you some of my weight. And I want to get to 150 like now too. I talked to my friend Lindsay today and she was definitely encouraging in this. I'm feeling better now.

So my best friend and sister, Sara, last night sweetly requested something last night. I think her exact words were: "I demand to see pictures of your new bathing suit and not just your old bathing suit!" Said in a total joking manner, of course. So here are some pictures for you, S!

 Bathing suit on the left is the old one.

The one on the right is the new one.

 I bought new swim caps and goggles as well. All latex free

which is perfect for me! Love the latex free products!

On a brighter note, I've known for a week or two exactly what I wanted for my reward for losing 20 pounds. There's a very small handful of tv shows that I LOVE. I LOVE the show Friends. It's my favorite show - hands down. I own all 10 seasons on DVD. Well, there's another show that I recently watched the whole way through and quickly grew to love. And that show is Friday Night Lights. So for my 20lb reward, I treated myself to the first season on DVD!

I will start watching season 1 tonight! Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose!

All in.

Back On Track

Well I'm back on track...almost. I'm not on my three average 3lb/week loss, but this week I lost four this week! That means I'm out of the 170s and into the 160s and I passed the 20 pound mark! In less than two months! That feels good! 22 pounds down, 63 more to go!

 11.13.12 Day 54, Lost:4 Total:22, Weight 168

Needles to say, my clothes are fitting in new ways. Some things that use to fit are way too big. Some things that were a little too small are now a little big. Somethings now fit perfectly. And while the rest are getting closer to fitting. There are somethings that are way too big that it's time to get rid of and get new things - like my jeans, but I'm trying to hold off as long as possible because I know I'm still losing. Somethings, however, need to be replaced. Like the bathing suit I wear five days a week to swim laps. I went to Dick's Sporting Goods on Sunday to treat myself to a new bathing suit promising myself I wouldn't wear it until I officially l lost 20 pounds. And to my surprise I went down, not one, but two sizes! 

 This is my old suit that I wore for the last time today! 

Goodbye trusty suit, you will not be missed.

I have this huge rubbermaid container that I use use for old skit/club props and costumes and it didn't hold everything that I had. Before I moved to Oregon just over two years ago, I purged the box and gave most of the contents to the Young Life Area (you're welcome, Rob!) Well this box has been sitting empty for two years in my parents house and for some reason my mom thought to put the clothes in here that got too big for me and to have fun watch it pile up. So I agreed.

 This box is monstrous. I'm pretty sure I could fit in it myself.

I got to add my first "too big" item tonight with many more to come.

So here I am - finishing one week and about to start another. I'm tired. 63 pounds feels like a long way a way. But I'm here and sticking it out.

All in.

Some Thoughts

So this week's been hard. Especially the whole not losing anything, but I'll get to that more in a minute. So every few weeks they (meaning the nurses at the clinic) take my blood to make sure everything's going okay. I've never really asked them what they're testing because I've never had issues with anything like diabetes or my thryroid or anything else. I've been very fortunate in that area and honestly I've kinda taken it for granted. On Tuesday they drew blood as normal, had a hard time finding a vain - which in normal for me, sealed things up and I was on my way to class. Well I got a call on Wednesday morning from one of the nurses at the clinic, Jen. She said they got my results back and some of the numbers were abnormal and they wanted me to come in right away to retake my blood (and she did emphasis right away). So I walked into my mom's room and told her and left the house to head to the clinic. It hadn't set in yet. However, I wanted some people praying for me, but I didn't want to sound any alarms so I texted my dad, brother, and sister-in-law while I was at the gas station (don't worry I had already filled up and gotten back in the car). I knew it could be awhile before Kory and Sara read their texts so I went ahead and called them knowing that it was early and probably trying to get gets out the door for school. Kory answered and prayed with and for me and that was the first time I felt like "Oh this is a bit scary. It could be something or it could be nothing and I can't do anything to make it simply okay." I felt powerless. I had been working so hard to shed this weight and to be all around healthy, but I just felt helpless in that moment. I get there and Jen assures me that the doctor doesn't think anything's wrong, probably just a false reading, but they wanted to make sure. She also informed me that they had been testing my lung function, kidney function, and electrolytes and all three of those numbers were off - either high or low. Up until that point, my levels were in the good range.  After they took my blood again (which have I mentioned, I really don't like that process which is kinda funny because I have two tattoos, but I hated the fact that I had to give blood two days in a row) she told me that they should know the results within 24 hours and she'll call me either way. That was about noon. I hate to wait. Especially for stuff like that. I hated that phone call. Well it was about 4:30 Thursday afternoon and I couldn't wait so I called Jen and left a message. A little after 7 she called back and said everything was fine; nothing was wrong. So relieved, but still stressful and surreal. Definitely eye opening for sure, but regardless I am thankful that everything is okay. 

So I was talking with Sara last night and just talking through how it was hard not losing anything this week and the whole blood work bit and was just feeling discouraged and how I felt like by not losing anything this week it was like a major set back and how I now feel like I've added another month on to this program. And she patiently listened and just reminded me that it won't be a month longer, maybe just a week and that's okay. I didn't put this weight on overnight and I won't take it off overnight. That my focus should not be on the scale but what the Lord is doing in this time. I bought the book Made to Crave that I'm going to start doing with my friend, Teresa, and I downloaded the devotional to go along with it that Sara and I are going to be doing together. So I think those will be great resources for me to keep my mind set on what the Lord is trying to teach me.

On a different note, I dropped my 91 year old Grandma off at her house yesterday and one of her neighbors was outside. This neighbor did not know what I was doing and almost as soon as I stepped out of the car she said "Ashley! You look great! You've lost a good amount of weight! How much?" It was such a good feeling to have someone who had no clue that I've been working on it actually notice. It was definitely great!

Those are my thoughts for now. Until later.... All in.

Wah-Wah

This week was hard and tonight was even harder. I lost a big fat nothing this week. I worked so hard this week and the scale didn't budge. Yes it didn't go up, but it didn't go down either. I stayed faithfully "in the box" everyday this week, but nothing. It's hard. Next week though....

In the meantime here's this week's picture - even though I didn't lose anything.

11.6.12 Day 47, Lost:0 Total:18, Weight: 172

All in.

Wyatt

My brother and sister-in-law, Mike and Amber, have three boys, Jack, Luke, and Wyatt. Wyatt is 7 months old and weighs 18 pounds. Imagine that. I've lost 18 pounds and thus I've lost Wyatt. Mike, Amber, and the boys were in town this weekend and as I was holding him or carrying him around all I could think was "Dang this baby's kinda heavy and I've lost this much weight and I've got a lot more to go." I figured I'd take a picture of Wyatt and myself while they were here to give y'all a little visual.

So tomorrow night, I head back to the clinic for my weigh-in and meeting. We'll see if I hit that 20 pound mark. I think I've settled on a 20 pound incentive, but I'll keep that as a surprise til I officially hit the 20 pound mark. Until then....

All in.