So this week's been hard. Especially the whole not losing anything, but I'll get to that more in a minute. So every few weeks they (meaning the nurses at the clinic) take my blood to make sure everything's going okay. I've never really asked them what they're testing because I've never had issues with anything like diabetes or my thryroid or anything else. I've been very fortunate in that area and honestly I've kinda taken it for granted. On Tuesday they drew blood as normal, had a hard time finding a vain - which in normal for me, sealed things up and I was on my way to class. Well I got a call on Wednesday morning from one of the nurses at the clinic, Jen. She said they got my results back and some of the numbers were abnormal and they wanted me to come in right away to retake my blood (and she did emphasis right away). So I walked into my mom's room and told her and left the house to head to the clinic. It hadn't set in yet. However, I wanted some people praying for me, but I didn't want to sound any alarms so I texted my dad, brother, and sister-in-law while I was at the gas station (don't worry I had already filled up and gotten back in the car). I knew it could be awhile before Kory and Sara read their texts so I went ahead and called them knowing that it was early and probably trying to get gets out the door for school. Kory answered and prayed with and for me and that was the first time I felt like "Oh this is a bit scary. It could be something or it could be nothing and I can't do anything to make it simply okay." I felt powerless. I had been working so hard to shed this weight and to be all around healthy, but I just felt helpless in that moment. I get there and Jen assures me that the doctor doesn't think anything's wrong, probably just a false reading, but they wanted to make sure. She also informed me that they had been testing my lung function, kidney function, and electrolytes and all three of those numbers were off - either high or low. Up until that point, my levels were in the good range. After they took my blood again (which have I mentioned, I really don't like that process which is kinda funny because I have two tattoos, but I hated the fact that I had to give blood two days in a row) she told me that they should know the results within 24 hours and she'll call me either way. That was about noon. I hate to wait. Especially for stuff like that. I hated that phone call. Well it was about 4:30 Thursday afternoon and I couldn't wait so I called Jen and left a message. A little after 7 she called back and said everything was fine; nothing was wrong. So relieved, but still stressful and surreal. Definitely eye opening for sure, but regardless I am thankful that everything is okay.
So I was talking with Sara last night and just talking through how it was hard not losing anything this week and the whole blood work bit and was just feeling discouraged and how I felt like by not losing anything this week it was like a major set back and how I now feel like I've added another month on to this program. And she patiently listened and just reminded me that it won't be a month longer, maybe just a week and that's okay. I didn't put this weight on overnight and I won't take it off overnight. That my focus should not be on the scale but what the Lord is doing in this time. I bought the book Made to Crave that I'm going to start doing with my friend, Teresa, and I downloaded the devotional to go along with it that Sara and I are going to be doing together. So I think those will be great resources for me to keep my mind set on what the Lord is trying to teach me.
On a different note, I dropped my 91 year old Grandma off at her house yesterday and one of her neighbors was outside. This neighbor did not know what I was doing and almost as soon as I stepped out of the car she said "Ashley! You look great! You've lost a good amount of weight! How much?" It was such a good feeling to have someone who had no clue that I've been working on it actually notice. It was definitely great!
Those are my thoughts for now. Until later.... All in.
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